Taming The Tongue

Knowing when to speak and when not to is not as straight forward as it might at first seem.  I recall an incident when I was in the last year of high school.  I prepared and presented a report on John Diefenbaker to my history seminar and was ambushed by two students who seemed to resent me for reasons I never understood.  Their parting shot was something to the effect that "All in all, [this] report was not very well prepared".  They were right.  I had left it to the last moment and then skimmed encyclopedia style entries for some important information but necessarily glossed over equally important facts.  Still, the attack smarted and I vowed revenge...silently.

The next week, it was the turn of one of these students to present their report on another of Canada's Prime Ministers.  I was ready.  I had all the source material stacked up on my desk with ominous looking bookmarks jutting in the direction of the enemy, like canon on a battlefield.  That student presented their report and it was pretty typically a high school report.  After they were finished, I was still mentally debating whether to lower the proverbial boom, and had actually decided NOT to do so, since, I reasoned, it did nothing for me and might even earn me even more enmity than I already was facing.  The teacher had watched me throughout the presentation and now asked the class if there were any questions.  I kept silent.  He asked again.  I remained resolute.  He asked a third time looking straight at me and at the pile of resource material on my desk.  I stood firm.  Then he said, "Well, if there aren't any questions...." still looking directly at me, and I caved.  I spoke up and said, "I have one question...." and proceeded to tear apart that student's presentation until there was nothing but confetti left.  I was able to deliver the coupe de grace when the dust settled and said, quite snidely, "All in all,..."

I've always regretted that.  It was mean spirited.  I had the ability to do something noble, though not very satisfying, and I passed it up.  The greater sin was mine because I had the skills to use for good or evil and I chose evil.  I caused unnecessary pain and there is far too much of that in this world as it is.

Yesterday, I created a blog entry that I have since deleted.  It came out of a sense of frustration, anger, pain, and mostly a bruised ego around the assumption on the part of some people that they know my job better than I do.  I had the same choice once again, and once again I allowed the temptation to overcome my better judgement, and my better nature.  Fortunately, since so few read this blog, I don't think I have done as much harm and I have taken the opportunity to recant my rant.  Once again, it is not as satisfying in the short run to be silent as it would be to strike out but the payoff in the long run is that I will feel better about myself and the value of that cannot be discounted.

Last week's sermon was about "price, cost and value" and I simply said that you could not make any judgements based solely on price or cost, or price and cost, because value had to be part of every equation.  Whether you are talking about purchasing a product or service; being part of a relationship with another person; having a faith relationship with God; or being part of a congregation, everything has a price and the cost is always greater than the price but neither is as important as the value of what is being considered.  My good opinion of myself is far more valuable than someone else's poor opinion of me, for instance.  And the cost of silence is a small price to pay for the value received.  Perhaps if more people learned to "tame the tongue" there would fewer people broken and damaged in this world.  All in all, whether this entry is as well-prepared as the one I deleted, I am still a lot prouder of it and that is valuable to me.